Jedi Story
by ArionJinn
Summary: Think Stars Wars characters meet the Toy Story plot...and just as much fun.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Jedi Story  
  
Author: Arion  
  
Summary: A parody of Toy Story although it does not stay strictly with the script. Think of it as Star Wars characters in a Toy Story plot.  
  
Rating: PG--it was G but there's a sexually frustrated Obi-Wan and I'm planning on going somwhere with that.  
  
Genre: Humor--it's just for laughs people...just for laughs.  
  
Warning: None...unless you have a problem with walking, talking toys.  
  
Disclaimer: Star Wars and Toy Story characters, ideas, etc. belong to their respective people. I make no money off this...it was just to make people laugh. You've heard of a laugh, right?  
  
Charlene is in her bedroom. Sitting on the floor playing with her various Star Wars action figures and all their cool little toys. Obi-Wan Kenobi is currently in the role of the bad guy and Qui-Gon Jinn is, of course, the hero. Surrounding Charlene and the toys are cardboard boxes. Substitutes for bars, ships, and other various buildings. There is a humongous box that stands for the Naboo Palace, which Obi-Wan is positioned in front of.  
  
Charlene talks for the meager toys.  
  
Obi-Wan is waving a blaster around in the air. "All right everyone! This is a stickup! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe! Credits, credits, credits!"  
  
Queen Amidala stands defiantly in front of the Palace, dressed in one of her many odd outfits. "We will not cooperate."  
  
"Quiet, Amidala, or your handmaidens get run over." Obi-Wan points to the captured handmaidens with the blaster.  
  
Handmaidens: "Help us! Help us!"  
  
The Queen's handmaidens are tied together and a podracer, piloted by Anakin Skywalker is ready to run them down at the drop of a lightsaber.  
  
Amidala is fearful for her loyal bodyguards "Oh, no, not my handmaidens! Somebody, do something!"  
  
Suddenly, Qui-Gon comes leaping out of nowhere, landing a few feet from Obi- Wan. He crosses his arms and stoically looks at Obi-Wan.  
  
Qui-Gon: "I sense a fair amount of stupidity in you."  
  
Obi-Wan: "On, no! Qui-Gon Jinn!"  
  
Qui-Gon: "I'm here to stop you, Obi the Kid."  
  
Obi-Wan: "How'd you know it was me?"  
  
Qui-Gon: "Are you gonna come quietly, Braidboy?"  
  
Obi-Wan: "You can't touch me, Qui-Gon."  
  
Qui-Gon: "Wanna bet."  
  
Qui-Gon Force shoves Obi-Wan over Yoda, who, for some, perhaps stupid, reason, was standing behind him. Obi-Wan trips over him and falls head over heels into a pile of blocks and is soon buried beneath them.  
  
(Star Wars theme is heard faintly)  
  
Charlene scoops up Qui-Gon in one hand and joyfully exclaims, "You've saved the day again, Qui-Gon!"  
  
She pulls the round little ring attached by a cord on Qui-Gon's back and he proudly says, "You're my favorite Padawan."  
  
Charlene, in a fit of joy, then runs out the door and downstairs, where she's greeted by her sister, Lana. Lana is busy redecorating the dining room for a birthday party. Streamers hang from the ceiling and balloons float up from the floor amid the banners and signs that say, "Happy Birthday, Charlene!!!"  
  
"Oh, wow, this looks great! It's really is so nice of you and Mom and Dad to throw the party for me before we move. Considering my birthday isn't for another week."  
  
Lana smiles at the extremely excited Charlene. "It'll be a good note to move on. Everybody's going to be here in a few minutes. Run upstairs and change will you."  
  
Lana points to the choice of clothing Charlene has on: a cloak with the hood pulled up over her head. Charlene turns and races back up the stairs.  
  
After changing into more suitable party clothes, Charlene is soon heading back downstairs again to await all the presents and party goers. Qui-Gon is left on top of her bed, slumped over. The door clicks shut.  
  
After a few seconds, Qui-Gon's eyes blink and he sits up. "Pull my string and call me Jabba. The birthday party got moved to today." He looks out over the bedroom floor. "Okay, everybody, coast is clear!"  
  
Obi-Wan digs himself out of the pile of blocks as toys come out from all over the place.  
  
Obi-Wan brushes himself off. "I'm not supposed to be a robber. Does she see this braid?" Obi-Wan pulls on the braid hanging off the side of his head. "I'm a Jedi, not a Hutt," he complains to everybody nearby.  
  
Qui-Gon starts looking around, as if for something in particular. He spots Captain Panaka nearby. "Have you seen Yoda?"  
  
"No, master Jedi."  
  
Qui-Gon nods at him. "Very well, Captain, thank you."  
  
Qui-Gon slides down the bedspread to the floor, landing easily.  
  
"Um...Yoda?"  
  
Yoda slowlys makes his way out from under the bed, dragging a Star Wars checkers game with him. "Right here I am. This time Sith you be."  
  
"Yoda, no..."  
  
Yoda interrupts him. "Very well. Then Jedi you can be."  
  
Qui-Gon kneels down in front of the small creature. "Not now, Yoda. I have disturbing news."  
  
Yoda's small ears perk up. "News disturbing you say!"  
  
Qui-Gon shushes Yoda. "Shh! Gather everyone for a meeting. And act happy about it."  
  
Yoda nods at the tall Jedi. "Understand I do." Yoda starts off with a frown on his face as Qui-Gon looks on.  
  
"Be happy!" Qui-Gon commands with a stern voice.  
  
Yoda's frown immediately turns up in a smile and he starts chuckling to himself as he calls for everybody's attention. "To staff meeting everybody shall come!"  
  
Qui-Gon glances at a couple of handmaidens standing idly by. "You two, you're on podium detail." They simply bow and run off to do his bidding.  
  
Qui-Gon spies an object by the Queen's makeshift palace. "Hey, who moved my doodle data pad over here?"  
  
As he picks it up, Watto comes flying around the corner, flapping his wings madly and wearing a Jabba the Hutt mask, a muffled yell comes from behind it.  
  
"Hello, Watto." Qui-Gon doesn't look up as he fiddles with the data pad.  
  
Watto pulls the mask off. "Were you scared? I want to be ready for Halloween. So, were you scared this time?"  
  
This is the seventh time that Watto has tried to scare a Jedi. Qui-Gon looks over his shoulder at him as he walks away. "I was close to being scared that time."  
  
Watto looks disappointed. "I was trying for fearsome but I just don't feel it. I think I'm just coming off as annoying."  
  
'He has no idea how annoying he already was.' Qui-Gon thought as he rounds the corner of the "Palace" and comes face to face with a blaster pointed at him. He peers down the top of the gun at Amidala before she shoves him inside the cutout door of the "Palace."  
  
Amidala follows him and stands just inside. She smiles up at Qui-Gon.  
  
He smiles back. "Uh...Hi Amidala."  
  
She comes forward until she is standing right in front of him. Her hands walk up the Jedi's cloak to his chest where she grabs it and pulls him down closer to her.  
  
"I just wanted to thank you, Qui-Gon, for rescuing my handmaidens." She bats her eyes at him.  
  
His smile grows wider. "Oh, uh, it was nothng."  
  
A sly smile creeps onto her face. "What do you say I give them tonight off?"  
  
Qui-Gon's jaw dropps slightly. "I, uh..."  
  
Amidala turns and begins walking away. She throw him a wink over her shoulder. "Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away."  
  
Yoda's nearby commands break into Qui-Gon's thoughts.  
  
"Up front smaller toys will be."  
  
Qui-Gon turns to see that the podium has been set up and all of the toys are assembled. Anikan and R2 D2 are a couple of who's who in the front row.  
  
Qui-Gon steps up to the podium which was basically a couple of audio tapes stacked on one another. He clears his throat before he begans.  
  
"The first item today: has everyone picked a moving buddy?"  
  
A chorus of complaints rose up from the audience ranging from "What!" to "You can't be serious!"  
  
Watto pipes up. "I didn't know we were supposed to have one already."  
  
"Do we have to hold hands?"  
  
Qui-Gon's already serious look turns even more serious. "Do you believe this to be a joke? We have only one week left before the move. I don't want to leave anyone behind." He looks over each toy with his stern gaze. "A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one!"  
  
"All right, next." Qui-Gon glances down at his data pad. "Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting...was, I think, a big success. We want to thank C3PO for putting that on for us. Thank you C3PO."  
  
C3PO nods. "You're welcome, sir."  
  
Qui-Gon pretends to be looking at his data pad. "Okay. Oh, one, uh, minor note here. Charlene's birthday party has been moved to today. Next, we have..."  
  
Qui-Gon is interrupted by a myriad of gasps and complaints.  
  
"Wait a minute!"  
  
"What do you mean the party's today?"  
  
"Her birthday's not 'til next week!"  
  
"Have they lost their Toydarian cubes?"  
  
Qui-Gon waits for everyone to quiet. "Well, obviously, they wanted to have the party before they move. I'm not worried nor should you be."  
  
Watto hovers next to Qui-Gon. "Of course he ain't worried. He's been Charlene's favorite toy since the beginning."  
  
Obi-Wan, ever the loyal Padawan, sticks up for his Master. "If Master Qui- Gon says it's all right then it will be. He's never steered us wrong before."  
  
"Come on, every Christmas and birthday we go through this," Qui-Gon adds.  
  
Watto, not one to be shot down immediately, continued with his argument. "But what if Charlene gets another Toydarian, a mean one?"  
  
Qui-Gon resumes his command of the meeting. "Now listen. No one is getting replaced. This is Charlene we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Charlene when she's needs us. That's what we're made for right?"  
  
Just then Anakin speaks up. "Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting but they're here!" 


	2. Jedi Story Chapter Two

Everybody makes their way to the small table underneath the window and peers out while ignoring Qui-Gon's pleas to "Stay calm, everyone!" He finally gives up. "Uh, meeting adjourned." Several humanoids can be seen through the window, all carrying wrapped gifts.  
  
"Will you take a look at all those presents?"  
  
"We're going to be bantha fodder for sure."  
  
"Any Toydarian-shaped ones?"  
  
"They're all in boxes, you idiot!"  
  
"We're doomed!"  
  
Qui-Gon stands by listening to all of the panicking voices. He shakes his head at them. "All right! If I send out the troops will you calm down?"  
  
Yoda nods. "Use your noodle you did." (AN: Just be sure you think with the head here, not lower. LOL!)  
  
Qui-Gon turns to Captain Panaka and his troops. Establish a recon post downstairs. Code Red! You now what to do!"  
  
Captain Panaka nods. "Yes, sir! All right men, let's go. Code Red. Move out!"  
  
The Captain and his troops head downstairs with a walkie talkie in tow while Qui-Gon gives orders to help set the second walkie talkie up. Within minutes, the troops are downstairs setting up, hiding when any of the family or guests might be able to see them. Looking past one of the leaves of the plant they were hiding under, Captain Panaka turns on the walkie talkie.  
  
"Charlene's opening the first present now." Captain Panaka's voice came over the walkie talkie. Everybody quiets down, ears tune in.  
  
"It's a female padawan. It's a female padawan." Qui-Gon turns, giving Obi- Wan an odd look. Obi-Wan blushes slightly. "I can dream, can't I?" Qui- Gon just shakes his head.  
  
"It's...it's...it's...it's a Star Wars collectible lunchbox." Everybody lets out a sigh of relief and then hold their breaths again and await the annoucnement of the next present.  
  
"Second present. Okay, it's bedsheets." Another sigh of relief and holding of breath...this process continues all the way through the opening of the presents.  
  
(Dining room) "Oh. Only one left."  
  
(Bedroom) "Okay, we're on the last present now."  
  
"Last present! It's a big one. It's a...it's a board game!"  
  
Everybody lets out a last sigh of relief. "Yeah. All right!"  
  
The crowd starts to break up when Captain Panaka's voice comes back over the walkie talkie.  
  
"Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Charlene's opening it. She's really excited about this one. It's a...oh Mom is in the way!"  
  
Obi-Wan has climbed up next to the walkie talkie and is shaking it. "What is it!" He screams at the electronic toy. It tips over too far and crashes to the floor where the battery door pops open and the batteries spill onto the floor. Obi-Wan looks down at the mess he's caused, his mouth gaping open in horror. All falls silent as everybody stares at it, as well.  
  
Yoda breaks the silence. "Padawan, sexually frustrated he is. Not to be near electrical appliances he is not."  
  
Everybody suddenly springs to life as several of the toys scramble to put the batteries back in their rightful places. Qui-Gon, after a scolding look to Obi-Wan, jumps down and does it himself. Watto and Anikan help Qui- Gon pull the walkie talkie to an upright position and they hear Captain Panaka's frantic voice coming over loud and clear.  
  
"Charlene is coming upstairs. Resume your positions now!"  
  
Qui-Gon quickly shuts off the walkie talkie as everybody scatters, hurrying back to where they were. At the last second, Qui-Gon pulls himself up the bedspread and falla, slumped over, on the bed. Charlene and several party attendees come rushing into the room, yelling excitedly.  
  
A voice calls up the stairs, Charlene's Dad. "Come on down guys! It's time for games!"  
  
Charlene drops something onto the bed and Qui-Gon is pushed off the other side. The room empties as quickly as it was filled. Toys come out again and cautiously approach the bed, eager to see what's up there.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Can you see it?"  
  
"What the heck is up there?"  
  
"Qui-Gon, who's up there with ya?"  
  
Qui-Gon crawls out from under the bed.  
  
"Qui-Gon, what are you doing under the bed?"  
  
"Uh, nothin'. I'm sure Charlene was just a little excited, that's all. Too much cake and ice cream, I suppose. It was just a mistake."  
  
"Yeah, well that mistake is sitting in your spot, Qui-Gon."  
  
"Oh, have you been replaced."  
  
Qui-Gon's replaces his slightly hurt look with an annoyed one. "Hey, what did I tell you earlier," he snaps.  
  
"No one is getting replaced." He takes a few deeps breaths and calms down.  
  
"Now, let's all be polite and give whatever it is up there... a nice, big Charlene's-room welcome."  
  
Qui-Gon adjusts he cloak and starts up the bedspread. He peeks over the top and sees nothing but a dark shape turned away from him.  
  
Darth Maul looks around his new surroundings for a minute and then he focuses his attention to a silver bracelet on his wrist and punches a button.  
  
Maul turns to look at his ship, laying carelessly against a pillow, upside down.  
  
"My ship! Blast! This'll take weeks to repair."  
  
"Mission log, stardate 4-0-7-2. My ship has run off course en route to Coruscant. I've crash-landed on a strange planet. Terrain seems a bit unstable and very odd. And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere."  
  
Suddenly, Qui-Gon jumps into his line of sight.  
  
"Greetings."  
  
Maul, taken by surprise, jumps backwards into a not-too-perfect fighting stance, ready to attack.  
  
Qui-Gon holds up his hands in immediate surrender.  
  
"Whoa! He-Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. My name is Qui-Gon Jinn...and this is Charlene's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see-- the bed here."  
  
Maul relaxes and resumes his standing position while he looks at Qui-Gon.  
  
Maul begins to explain his situation. "My ship has crash-landed here by mistake."  
  
Qui-Gon jumps in. "Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot." He motions with his hands at the spot where Maul's ship rests.  
  
Maul continues as though he hasn't even heard him. "I need to repair my turbo boosters."  
  
As Maul is inquiring about what power resources there might be the rest of the toys, impatient, make their way to the top of the bed. Maul sees them slowly approaching behind Qui-Gon. Maul grabs Qui-Gon and throws him down, jumps over him and lands in his fighting stance.  
  
"Who goes there?"  
  
Everybody ducks and shrinks back. Qui-Gon quickly gets up and steps between the two.  
  
"Whoa. It's okay. Friends."  
  
Maul gives Qui-Gon a suspicious look. "You know these lifeforms?"  
  
Qui-Gon looks at him with a "Duh, of course!" look on his face. "Yes. They're Charlene's toys," he says slowly as if it might take a while to make sense.  
  
Qui-Gon turns to the skittish toys behind him as Maul steps forward.  
  
Maul waves his hand for them to come closer. "All right, everyone. You're clear to come out. I am Darth Maul, Dark Lord of the Sith. I come in a troubled frame of mind." (AN: I come in peace just didn't really seem to fit this guy!)  
  
Watto flies forward, happy as a Wookie. "Oh, I'm so glad you're not a Toydarian."  
  
Maul nods to everyone. "Thank you for your kind welcome."  
  
Anakin is standing beside Maul, looking at a little red button on the bracelet. "Hey, what's this do?" Anakin points at it.  
  
Maul looks down and pushes it and a recording of his voice comes out. "Yes, my master."  
  
"Hey, Qui-Gon's got something like that. His is a pull string, only it..." Watto says before he is interrupted by Yoda.  
  
"Sounds like a transport ran over it, it does. Quality sound system this is."  
  
Qui-Gon's annoyed look returns.  
  
Obi-Wan changes the subject. "So, uh, where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong?"  
  
"No. I'm actually from Iridonia originally but now I reside on Coruscant, when not on my ship, that is."  
  
Qui-Gon gaze travels to the ship, which was actually just a box in the shape of a Sith Infiltrator. On the back was a description of Maul.  
  
Maul continues, "I am a Sith, bound by my honor to do the bidding of my master at any cost."  
  
Qui-Gon is reading the exact same thing off the back of the box.  
  
"Oh, really? I'm from Hasbro," Obi-Wan says.  
  
"And I'm from Mattel."  
  
Qui-Gon stands off to the side, mumbling to himself. "You'd think they'd never seen a new toy before."  
  
Amidala comes up beside him. "Well, sure, look at him. He's got more gadgets on him than a Swiss Jedi knife."  
  
Anakin was now looking at the oddly long cylinder on Maul's belt and he reaches out a hand to touch it. Maul swats his hand away. "Don't fool around with my lightsaber."  
  
"Hey, a lightsaber! Qui-Gon, how come you don't have a lightsaber."  
  
Qui-Gon doesn't answer that question. He knows where it is, out of sight that's where. It didn't actually work anyway. It was just plastic.  
  
"It's not a lightsaber, it's just a small piece of plastic," Qui-Gon says defensively.  
  
Anikan looks at R2 D2. "What's with him?"  
  
Watto answers. "Eh, lightsaber envy."  
  
Qui-Gon's excellent hearing picks that up. "All right, that's enough! Look, we're all very impressed with Charlene's new toy."  
  
Maul face takes on a puzzled look. "Toy?"  
  
Qui-Gon turns toward him. "Yeah. T-O-Y. Toy!"  
  
"I think the words you're searching for is Sith Lord."  
  
Qui-Gon scowls. "The words I'm searching for I can't say because there are young toys present." Meaning Anakin.  
  
"Getting tense you are, Qui-Gon." Yoda says, meaning to be helpful.  
  
"Oh, uh, Darth Maul." Watto comes flying closer. "I'm curious. What does a Sith Lord actually do?"  
  
Qui-Gon steps back into the conversation. "He's not a Sith Lord! He doesn't have a lightsaber that actually works and...and he doesn't really know how to fight. A toy doesn't take tae kwon do lessons."  
  
Maul defensively pulls himself up to his full height. "Yes, I can."  
  
Qui-Gon steps closer to him. "No, you can't."  
  
"Yes, I can."  
  
"No, you can't!"  
  
"Can."  
  
"Can't. Can't. Can't I tell you."  
  
"Okay, Mr. Baggy Pants. Prove it!"  
  
"Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan calls for his attention.  
  
Maul sends a clumsy kick to a unprepared Qui-Gon's stomach, who is on the ground in a millisecond. While Qui-Gon is busy falling, Maul struggles to regain his balance. 


	3. Jedi Story Chapter Three

Qui-Gon lands with an "oomfh" on the soft bed, more dazed and confused than anything. "What happened?"  
  
Watto's odd, blue face comes into view. "The Sith Lord kicked your butt."  
  
The tall Jedi is up on his feet in no time. "He did not! That wasn't fighting. That was...that was catching me off guard. It was luck, that's all."  
  
No one listens to him, though.  
  
"Wow!"  
  
"That was cool!"  
  
"I found my moving buddy." Even Amidala is impressed.  
  
Qui-Gon and his padawan move off to the side.  
  
"In a couple of days, everything will be just the way it was," Qui-Gon continues to argue. "They'll see. I'm still Charlene's favorite toy."  
  
(Duel of the Fates heard faintly.)  
  
In no time at all, Darth Maul is everyone's favorite friend. Charlene's Qui-Gon bedsheets have been replaced with ones covered with Darth Maul. Drawings of the Sith Lord wallpaper the room and even her clothes sport the Dark Lord. And Qui-Gon finds himself sleeping in the toy box while Maul takes his spot sleeping beside Charlene.  
  
******  
  
Darth Maul stands before a handful of toys. "It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Your Queen Charlene inscribed her name on me."  
  
Maul lifts his foot so everyone can see Charlene's name printed on his foot.  
  
"In permanent ink, it is."  
  
Maul then excuses himself to go back to work on his "ship" as a green-eyed Qui-Gon looks on In a fit of anger Qui-Gon kicks the nearby checkboard, a piece bouncing off the wall and back into his mouth. It seems even the inanimate toys are against him and he spits it out.  
  
"Don't let it get to you, Qui-Gon." Amidala comes up behind him.  
  
Qui-Gon tries to act as if he doesn't know what she's talking about. "What do you mean? Who?"  
  
"I know Charlene's excited about Maul but you know she'll always have a special place for you."  
  
Watto flies by. "Yeah, like the attic."  
  
Qui-Gon snaps. "All right, that's it!"  
  
He makes his way towards Maul who is underneath his ship attempting to fix it. He grabs a hold of Maul's ankles and pulls him out.  
  
"Listen here, Tatoo Parlor, you stay away from Charlene. She's mine and no one here is going to take her away from me." (AN: *sigh* not every day a toy fights over *you.* Wish it happened more often.)  
  
All he gets is an odd looks from Maul. "What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip."  
  
Qui-Gon goes on, "And another thing: stop with this Sith Lord stuff! It's getting on my nerves."  
  
Maul receives a small shove. "Don't even think about it, Jediboy."  
  
Qui-Gon snickers at him. "You actually think you're *the* Darth Maul? Oh, all this time I thought it was just an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the *real* Darth Maul!"  
  
Maul cocks an eyebrow at him. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"  
  
"Oh, no, no. Hey, there's your master."  
  
Maul spins around. "Where?"  
  
Qui-Gon falls to the floor in a fit of laughter, enjoying his fun.  
  
Yells interrupt Qui-Gon's teasing and everyone completely stops, listening to the evil laughter filtering in through the windows. Toys visibly shake with fear at the sound of that laugh.  
  
Yoda shakes his head disappointedly. "Sidious, it is." (AN: For this particular story, don't think of Sidious as Maul's master. He's just...Sidious. A really cranky old guy with too much time on his hands.)  
  
"I thought he was away at torture camp," Watto says.  
  
"They must've kicked him out early," supposes Obi-Wan.  
  
The toys all race to the window to see what's going on. Below in the next yard, a dark robed old guy is bouncing around in the yard like a child. In front of him, on the ground, is a faintly seen toy.  
  
"Who is it this time?"  
  
Qui-Gon grabs a pair of electrobinoculars and holds them up to his eyes. He peers through to see the toy and groans. "Oh, no, it's Mace Windu."  
  
Maul stands beside the Jedi master. "What's going on?"  
  
A glance is thrown Maul's way. "Nothing that concerns *you* Sith; just us toys."  
  
"I had better have a look, anyway." Maul tears the electrobinoculars from Qui-Gon's hands. "Why is that man strapped to an explosive device?"  
  
Qui-Gon points. "That's why. Sidious."  
  
Maul moves his train of sight...to a black and white pitbull at Sidious' feet. "Hmm, sure is a hairy fellow."  
  
Qui-Gon makes an annoyed noise and moves the electrobinoculars up to rest on Sidious. "No, that's Scud, you idiot. *That's* Sidious."  
  
"You mean that happy old geezer?"  
  
Obi-Wans snorts. "That ain't no happy old geezer."  
  
Watto hovers in the background. "He tortures toys, just for fun."  
  
"Well, then, we've got to do something." Maul climbs up onto the window sill.  
  
Qui-Gon, who isn't the only one looking at him like he's lost his mind, grab onto the edge of his robe. "What are you doing? Get down from there!"  
  
Maul is quite sure of himself. "I'm gonna teach that wacko a lesson."  
  
The Jedi Master scoffs at him. "Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Slice him with your scary lightsaber." Qui-Gon makes an attempt at a scary face.  
  
Before Maul can do anything, though, Sidious lights the explosive and then runs to take cover.  
  
"Hit the dirt!"  
  
"Look out!" 


	4. Jedi Story Chapter Four

All of the toys duck, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan pull Maul off the windowsill at the last moment. Within seconds of being lit the bomb explodes and sends dirt, debris, and remnants of Mace raining down. Some pieces fly throw the open window and land on cowering toys.  
  
Sidious' voice rings out. "Yes! He's gone! He's history!"  
  
The toys approach the window again to see Sidious dancing about the yard, the long, black robe dancing at his feet with him. Maul looks down at the scene.  
  
"I could've stopped him, Qui-Gon."  
  
"I would love to see you try. Of course, I'd *love* to see you as a crater."  
  
******  
  
Charlene's voice filters up through the partially open bedroom door. "I am Darth Maul, Dark Lord of the Sith," she voices for the action figure who is pummeling Qui-Gon.  
  
Her mother's voice interrupts her playing. "Oh, all this packing makes me hungry. What would you say to dinner at, uh, oh, Pizza Planet?"  
  
"Pizza Planet? Oh, cool!"  
  
"Go get ready and wash your hands, I'll grab the keys."  
  
Charlene soon bounces into the bedroom, dropping the toys onto the window table. She quickly changes her clothes and is bouncing back down the stairs. She stops halfway down.  
  
"I gotta go get some toys."  
  
Her mother calls after her, "Just bring one, things get a little out of hand when you bring more and we're going to a *public* place."  
  
Charlene groans but complies. "Okay, just one, then."  
  
"Wash your hands first or you'll forget."  
  
Charlene mumbles a reply and heads to the bathroom.  
  
As soon as Charlene leaves the room, Qui-Gon and Maul spring to life. Maul immediately goes back to what he was doing before being picked up for playtime. Qui-Gon stays put, mulling over the conversation.  
  
"Just one toy? One toy?"  
  
He then notices he is sitting next to a Magic 8 Ball. He grabs it and whispers into it, almost confidentially, "will Charlene pick me?"  
  
He shakes it and waits for the answer to pop up.  
  
"Don't count on it?"  
  
He stares at it in a mixture of disbelief and anger. The anger wins out and he throws the toy down and watches it roll off the back of the table to the floor below. His stands and peeks over the edge at it, sitting in the dark shadows. Suddenly, an idea pops into his head. He'll just have to make sure that Charlene has only one choice to choose...him. He looks thoughtfully, with a hint of sneakiness in his eyes, at Maul, who is too busy with his current project to have noticed anything. Soon, Qui-Gon has a plan as he spies the remote-controlled podracer next to Maul.  
  
"Ohh! Maul! Oh, Maul! Darth Maul! Darth Maul! Thank goodness," Qui-Gon shouts as he runs towards a surprised Maul.  
  
"We've got trouble!"  
  
"Trouble? Where?"  
  
Qui-Gon points to the spot where the Magic 8 Ball fell. "Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy! It's trapped!"  
  
As Maul goes to check it out, Qui-Gon is inching his way toward the podracer controls.  
  
Maul looks down into the abyss. "I don't see anything."  
  
Qui-Gon shakes his head. "Uh, he's there. Just uh...keeping looking." He picks up the controls and turns the podracer on. He pushes the button and sends the toy into gear, pointing it at Maul. The podracer is bearing down on Maul at full speed when he turns around. Maul just barely jumps out of the way and the toy crashes into nearby bullentin board, filled with tacks that rain down on the Sith Lord. The bullentin board soon starts to topple over, hitting a globe out of its holder. Within seconds Maul is in his own version of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark as he runs to stay ahead of the rolling globe. The sphere catches up with him quickly and he jumps onto the windowsill to avoid being run over. Soon, it's Qui-Gon who must get out of the way as the out of control ball continues towards him. He jumps to the side and the globe rolls past, knocking the swiveling lamp into action.  
  
The lamp head swings around and knocks Maul off the windowsill as he stands up...out the open window.  
  
Qui-Gon lifts his head from the ground where he had flung himself. After checking to make sure the coast is clear he gets up. Watt, who saw Maul knocked out the window is capturing everyone's attention with his yells.  
  
"Maul! Maul!"  
  
Soon, all the toys are running to look over the windowsill. The last to come running are Obi-Wan and Sabe, whose faces are pretty flushed for toys. Obi-Wan makes his way to the front where everybody is talking at once. (AN: Just chill, there's more Obi coming.)  
  
"I don't see him in the driveway."  
  
"I think he bounced into Sidious' yard."  
  
Obi-Wan turns to his master, "Did you see what happened?"  
  
Qui-Gon doesn't say anything. He still can't believe what he just did really. Watto can always be counted upon, though. "This was no accident," he hisses.  
  
Obi-Wan turns a blank look towards him. "Huh, what do you mean?"  
  
"I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed."  
  
The young Jedi gasps with astonishment, "No!"  
  
Watto nods his head as everybody else eagerly listens in. "By Qui-Gon!"  
  
Obi-Wan looks from Qui-Gon to the windowsill to Watto. "By Qui-Gon?"  
  
Upon hearing his name mentioned in accusation, Qui-Gon snaps out of his daze to defend himself. "What? Wait. Wait a minute. You don't think I meant to knock Maul out the window, do you? Now, it was an accident guys. You gotta believe me."  
  
Obi-Wan couldn't believe his master was capable of such a thing. "We believe you, Qui-Gon, right guys?" He looks around. "Master Yoda?"  
  
Yoda doesn't agree but nor does he say anything against Qui-Gon and Captain Panaka takes the argument up. "Where is your honor, Jedi scum? You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to... Hey!"  
  
Panaka's insults are cut short as Qui-Gon yanks his hat down over his head, giving him a different problem to focus on for the time being. Watto takes up where he left off.  
  
"You couldn't handle Maul cutting in on your play time, could you, Qui-Gon? Didn't want to face the fact that he was becoming Charlene's new favorite toy. So, you got rid of him."  
  
Watto was flying closer to Qui-Gon, making him back up close to the edge of the table.  
  
"Well, what if Charlene starts playing with me more? You going to knock me out of the window, too?"  
  
Captain Panaka jumps back in, having solved his hat problem. "I don't think we should give him the chance."  
  
With a flick of his wrist, Panaka waves his men into action and they swarm around Qui-Gon, attempting to wrestle him down.  
  
"Let's string him up by his pull string!"  
  
Amidala tries to intervene. "Would you boys stop it. Stop it!" It does no good.  
  
It's Charlene's voice that breaks up the conflict as she nears the bedroom. "Okay, Mom, be right down. I've gotta get Maul."  
  
"Retreat!" Everybody is rushing back to their places. Qui-Gon drops where is he, motionless.  
  
Charlene comes through the door, stopping near Qui-Gon and looking around. "Mom, do you know where Maul is?"  
  
"Nope, haven't seen him. Come on, let's go."  
  
Shrugging, Charlene picks up Qui-Gon and heads for the car. Once she gone the toys scramble back up to the windowsill to look for Maul on the ground below. Captain Panaka's men form a chain as Obi-Wan, Watto and several others help lower them out the window. They are not enough men to make it to the ground, though.  
  
Obi-Wans calls down to Maul, who still has not been seen. "Hang on, Maul, we're forming another plan! This one isn't working!" 


	5. Jedi Story Chapter Five

******  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Maul picks himself up off the ground in time to see Qui-Gon being carried into the car by Charlene. As the car starts to turn out of the driveway, Maul races after it, manages to grab onto the bumper and hangs on for the ride.  
  
After a few minutes, the car pulls into a gas station and both Charlene and her mother get out. Maul takes the opportunity to climb up onto the top of the car. He peers down through the open sky window at Qui-Gon who is lying on his back.  
  
When Maul comes into Qui-Gon's line of sight he jumps up for once glad to see him. "Maul! Maul! Maul! Hah! You're alive! This is great! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved! Charlene will find you here. She'll take us back to the room, and then you can tell everyone... that this was all just a big mistake. Huh? Right? Buddy?"  
  
Qui-Gon stares at him hopefully and waits for an answer. The stern look Maul has been fixing him with doesn't change. Even when he gives him an answer. "I just want you to know that even though you tried to kill me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet unless it serves a higher purpose or is an order."  
  
A smile starts to spread across the tall Jedi's face before Maul continues. He takes a step closer to Qui-Gon. "But we're not on my planet, are we?"  
  
Qui-Gon gives him a look, a cross between puzzlement and slight fear before Maul lunges at him. They both fall out the open car door onto the pavement below, each attempting to get the upper hand in their scuffle. Qui-Gon pins Maul down and is repeatedly punching him, also inadvertenly hitting the button that activates Maul's recorder. Maul's voice continually spits out the beginning of his message, "Darth, Darth, Darth, Darth Maul," before Maul kicks him off. As Qui-Gon regains his balance Maul jumps on top of him from behind and they're somersaulting across the pavement underneath the car. Unnoticed by anyone and not noticing, themselves, the return of Charlene and her mother. Only when the car starts and drives off does realization sink in. Maul is unbothered. Qui-Gon on the other hand starts running after the car, soon stopping when he realizes he won't catch it.  
  
"Charlene! Doesn't she realize I'm not there?" His face clearly shows the anguish at being left behind by his favorite person in the whole world. He gasps as he stares after the disappearing taillights. "I'm lost! Oh, I'm a lost toy!"  
  
He seems to remember Maul, standing where he left him as he is trying to contact someone on his "comm link." Qui-Gon, suddenly angry, turns around and points a finger at him as he marches back. "You!"  
  
Maul looks up only to tell him, "No one is answering my calls..."  
  
Qui-Gon throws his hands in the air. "Shutup! Just shutup, you idiot!"  
  
"This is no time to panic."  
  
Maul is on the receiving end of a glare. "This is the perfect time to panic. I'm lost! Charlene is gone! They're going to move from their house in two days and it's all your fault."  
  
Now, it's Mauls turn to be angry as he sputters, "My...my fault?!? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place..."  
  
"Oh, yeah? Well, if you hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard transport... and taken away everything that was important to me..."  
  
Maul holds up his hand. "Don't talk to me about importance. I have been stranded here, unable to get back to Coruscant to provide the details of my mission!"  
  
Qui-Gon looks at him puzzled. "What? What are you talking about?"  
  
"The mission I was sent on by my master..."  
  
Maul's view is completely taken up by the Jedi's angry and frustrated look as he steps right up to him. "You are a toy! You aren't the real Darth Maul. You're a...uh, you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!"  
  
Maul, of course, not believing him stares at him. "You are a sad, eccentric, tall Jedi, and you have my pity." Maul starts to walk off, attempting to raise someone over his "comm link" again.  
  
"Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance to you, ya looney toon."  
  
Qui-Gon's gaze wanders around, trying to figure out some way to get back to Charlene. He spotts a truck parked a few yards away. A Pizza Planet logo was painted on the side and on top was a minature, plastic transport. "Charlene," he softly whispers and then wheels around to look for Maul.  
  
  
  
  
  
part 9  
  
Back at Charlene's bedroom...  
  
The toys give up their search for Maul when Yoda spots him hanging off the back of the car.  
  
"Maul, there is," Yoda informs the group as he points to Maul's location.  
  
Everybody is glad to see that he's okay and they figure Charlene will come back with both Maul and Qui-Gon. The disgruntled toys can string the Jedi up later. So, they go back to what they were doing.  
  
Obi-Wan pulls a surprised Sabe through the "Palace" door as she passes by. He smirks as he playfully looks at her. "What do you say we finish what we started earlier."  
  
He leans in to kiss her and she gladly accepts. He tries for a little more than just a kiss but she pushes him away. He looks at her, confused. "What?"  
  
"I didn't think you wanted to finish it that far. I'm sorry but I don't want to go that far until I'm married. You did hear me tell you that...right?"  
  
Obi-Wan immediately finds something else to look at. Sabe crosses her arms. "*You* weren't listening to me, were you? You just wanted a fun little fling! I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but some women actually want to get to know someone, not just have sex with them. You, obviously, have no idea about women, Obi-Wan." She turns and storms out the door.  
  
"But I'm trying to learn." Obi-Wan makes an attempt to go after her but trips on the lower frame of the door and goes flying face-first to the floor. He looks up to see Sabe's robe trailing after her. Undaunted, he picks himself up and follows after her as she makes her way to the windowsill.  
  
"Sabe, wait! Will you just stop."  
  
She stops and leans against the window frame. The second he catches up with her she lands a walloping slap on his face. He stumbles and is soon tripping again. This time, he falls off the windowsill down into a glass that Charlene has left on the floor. He catches his feet on the edge of the opening and just dangles there.  
  
"Somebody help. Get me out of here." His robe has fallen down over his face, rendering him blind. He doesn't see Sabe and she angrily pushes his feet entirely into the clear glass. Obi-Wan is left upside down, sputtering for help, tangled in his robe...and totally visible to everyone else as they laugh at him.  
  
He eventually tips the glass over and backs out. As he stands up he tries to untangle the robe and after a few struggling moments succeeds. He smooths his robe back out and turns around, where several toys are standing there watching him. Yoda comes forward and pulls on Obi-Wan's sleeve who leans down.  
  
"Willing Sabe is not eh? Try Lana's Barbie perhaps you might. That or retreat to your room you should."  
  
Yoda winks at him. Obi-Wan stands abruptly, his face flushing and without a word walks off. Yoda laughs to himself as he sees Obi-Wan heading for his room, though. He turns to the rest of the toys and bangs his walking stick on the floor.  
  
"Show over it is." 


	6. Jedi Story Chapter Six

Back at the gas station...  
  
Qui-Gon chases after Maul. "Maul. Maul, come back."  
  
Maul just waves him off. "Go away."  
  
The wheels were turning frantically in his head. "Maul, I found a transporter!"  
  
Succeeding in attracting Maul's attention, he points to the truck. Maul regards it, uncertainly, for a moment. "Now, you're sure this transport will return to its place of origin?"  
  
Qui-Gon nods happily and claps his hands. "Uh huh. When we get there we'll be able to find a way to transport you home."  
  
"Well, then, let's climb aboard." Maul starts heading for the passenger side door.  
  
"No, no,no, wait!" Qui-Gon pulls on Maul's tunic. "Maul! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there."  
  
Maul shakes his head. "There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit."  
  
"Yes, but..." Qui-Gon doesn't get to finish what he's saying, Maul is already climbing up the side of the truck to the open window. Qui-Gon watches, muttering to himself. Maul jumps in and secures himself as the driver returns. Qui-Gon climbs onto the back bumper and opening the tailgate door, slips into the back. He runs up to the dividing windows and peers through at Maul, sitting comfortably in the front.  
  
"We'll be much safer in the cockpit," he says, mimicking Maul. He snorts in disgust, "What an idiot."  
  
The driver, a surfer dude, starts the engine and speeds out of the gas station. Qui-Gon flys back against the tailgate. He looks up to see a toolbox heading straight for him and...bang!  
  
The delivery truck soon pulls into the Pizza Planet. Maul watches as two kids and their mother walk towards the eatery's front doors. Two robots stands on either side. "You are cleared to enter," they articulate as the trio walk through. Mauls climbs through the divinding windows. In the back of the truck, Qui-Gon pushes the toolbox off him with quite a bit of effort.  
  
"Ah, there you are. Now, the entrance is heavily guarded. We need a way to get inside."  
  
Dazed, Qui-Gon falls into a pile of discarded take-out trash. He pokes his head up, wearing an empty soda cup. Maul focuses on the cup. "Great idea, Qui-Gon. I like your thinking."  
  
Soon, a soda cup and a sandwich container are scurrying across the parking lot to the entrance as Qui-Gon and Buzz, in disquise, follow another family in. They stop inside the door as a couple of kids run by. Maul in a hurry, starts off again and runs into Qui-Gon.  
  
Qui-Gon turns. "Ow! Watch where you're going," he hisses.  
  
"Sorry!"  
  
They scurry off, this time Qui-Gon runs into corner as he goes around it but keeps going. Once they out of harm's way they ditch their disguises. Qui-Gon immediately starts looking for Charlene while Maul is in awe of the place.  
  
"What a spaceport! Good work, Qui-Gon."  
  
  
  
  
  
part 11  
  
Suddenly, Qui-Gon hears Charlene voice and, peeking around a corner, sees her coming this way as she's talking to her mother.  
  
"Now, we need to find a ship that's headed for Coruscant."  
  
Qui-Gon grabs Maul and starts pulling him along. "No, no, no, Maul. This way! There's a special ship. I just saw it."  
  
Maul appears puzzled for a moment. "You mean it has a hyperdrive?"  
  
Qui-Gon nods, playing along. "Hyperactive hyperdrive and..." he thinks for a moment, "uh, a Sith Convention."  
  
"Where is it? I...I don't see the..." Maul stops, he spots a crane game that is shaped like a transporter.  
  
"Come on," Qui-Gon interrupts. "That's it." Charlene is getting closer. They can just jump in her handbag and be on their way home. "All right, Maul, get ready."  
  
Maul is not paying any attention, though. He's heading for the game.  
  
"Okay, Maul, when I say go, we're going to jump in the bag." Qui-Gon turns around. "Maul?"  
  
Qui-Gon spots Maul climbing into the "transporter" via the door that the prize comes out of. He shakes his head, throwing his hands in the air. "This cannot be happening to me!" He starts off after Maul.  
  
Maul climbs up the ramp and is soon inside the "transport" where he sees a large group of furry little creatures. Ewoks. They all turn to stare at him.  
  
"A stranger," one says.  
  
Another joins in, "from the outside."  
  
All of them simultaneously voice, "ooh!"  
  
Qui-Gon pokes his head up and takes in the situation.  
  
Maul looks over them all. "Greetings. I am Darth Maul. This is an emergency. I need to use your transport. Who's in charge here?"  
  
All Ewoks slowly raise their three-fingered hands and point. Maul raises his head to look and high above them is some kind of a mechanical device.  
  
"The claw is our master," one volunteers.  
  
"The claw chooses who will go and who will stay."  
  
"This is ludicrous," Qui-Gon mutters.  
  
"You stunted slime!" The loud hiss catches Qui-Gon attention and cautiously pulls himself up to look out. He sees Sidious at one of the many games, furious. He pounds a fist down on the game and then starts looking around for the next one. He spies the crane come and starts over.  
  
"Oh, no," Qui-Gon groans and leaps onto Maul, burying them amid the many furballs just as Sidious drops a quarter into the slot to play. Maul attempts to get back up but Qui-Gon pulls him down.  
  
"What's wrong with you?"  
  
The Ewoks look up as the claw begins to move. "The claw. It moves."  
  
The claw opens and then closes onto one of them. "I have been chosen! Farewell, my friends. I go on to a better place."  
  
A creepy smile spreads across Sidious' face. "I have you now."  
  
Sidious drops his prize into the shute as he spots Maul. "Ah, a Darth Maul. How interesting."  
  
Qui-Gon frantically looks around for another way out. He sees a door in the back and runs to it. After struggling with the handle he finally gets it open and heads back for Maul as he sees the claw latch onto him. Qui- Gon grabs one of Maul's legs and is pulling him towards the exit. Suddenly, the Ewoks start pulling at Qui-Gon, trying to break his hold on Maul. Qui-Gon furiously kicks at them. "What are you doing? Stop it!"  
  
The Ewoks don't give up so easily, though. "He has been chosen. He must go."  
  
Qui-Gon does not let go of his grip and the claw wins the battle, pulling both Maul and Qui-Gon out of the crowd. Sidious toothless smile grows wider. "Double prizes."  
  
They're dropped into the shute and Sidious opens the door to retrieve all three prizes. He stuffs the Ewok into his belt and holds Maul and Qui-Gon in separate hands. "Let's go home and play, shall we?" He laughs. A horrible laugh. 


	7. Jedi Story Chapter Seven

Maul peeks out through Sidious' robe as they approach his house. "I can see your dwelling from here."  
  
Once inside, Sidious is greeted by Scud who jumps up and down at his feet. Reaching into the robe, Sidious pulls out the Ewok. He tosses the toy to Scud who ferociously shakes it and runs off with it as Maul and Qui-Gon look on in horror.  
  
Sidious looks at a guard standing beside the door. "Did I get my package?"  
  
The guard hesitates for a moment before answering, "I don't know."  
  
"What do you mean, you don't know?"  
  
The guard flinches as Sidious hisses at him. Sidious raises his hand and chokes the poor guard without even touching him. The guard slumps to the floor, dead. Sidious continues on up the stairs to his room. Once in the room, Sidious tosses Maul and Qui-Gon onto the bed, walking over to a table where there are a litter of toys. Maul and Buzz watch as Sidious, with his back to them, tinkers with the toys.  
  
Sidious soon turns, revealing the demonic looking toy he has just created. The entirety made up of several disembodied toys laying on the table. The head of a Toydarian, arms of a Wookie, and the body of an R2 Unit.  
  
Maul looks on in shock. He's never seen anything like it before. Qui-Gon stares at the "Thing." "We are going to die."  
  
In the next house, in Charlene's room.  
  
Obi-Wan, who's emerged from his room, is playing checkers with Yoda...and losing badly.  
  
"Worry about Qui-Gon, you should not. Jedi Master, he is," Yoda says, breaking in Obi-Wan's thoughts.  
  
Obi-Wan focuses his attention back to the game in front of him. "Yes, Master Yoda. I just..."  
  
Whatever Obi-Wan was going to say is forgotten as Anikan, looking out the window, yells, "Look! They're home!"  
  
Soon, everyone is watching as Charlene and her mother climb out of the car.  
  
"Mom, have you seen Qui-Gon?"  
  
"Where was the left place you left him?"  
  
"Right here, in the car."  
  
"I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough."  
  
"He's not here, Mom. Qui-Gon's gone."  
  
"Gone?" Obi-Wan stares at the car, a sad look on his face.  
  
"Yeah, boy." Watto sneers at him. "The womprat ran away." Watto flys closer, pointing a blue finger at Obi-Wan's chest. "I told you he was guilty."  
  
In Sidious' room.  
  
Sidious is pacing the room as he "interrogates" Qui-Gon who has been tossed carelessly onto the floor.  
  
"Ah, a survivor. Where is the rebel base?"  
  
Sidous stops and faces Qui-Gon, his face hidden inside his hood and its shadows. He stands there for a few seconds as if he actually expects the toy to answer. "I can see your will is strong. Well, we have ways of making you talk."  
  
Sidious grabs a magnifying glass off the table and crouches in the sunlight between the window and Qui-Gon. After positioning the object just right, he waits. Soon, the sunglight, with the help of the magnifying glass, is burning a hole in the middle of Qui-Gon's forehead. "Where are your rebel friends now?"  
  
A knock interrupts the "interrogation" as a guard yells through the door, "Sidious, your Pop Tarts are ready!"  
  
Sidious drops the magnifying glass and, almost like a little kid, leaps to his feet, opens the door and runs out. The second he is gone, Qui-Gon jumps up and starts furiously rubbing his forehead. Seeing a bowl of what looks like cereal and milk, he runs over and dunks his head into it. Maul appears beside him as he pulls rubber darts off his head and butt. "Are you all right?"  
  
Qui-Gon pulls his head up and looks through two fruitloops stuck to his head. After ridding himself of the cereal, he picks up a spoon from the floor, examining himself in the back of it. "I sure hope this is not permanent."  
  
Maul busys himself trying to reach anyone on his comm link. "Still no word from Star Command."  
  
Suddenly, Qui-Gon spots the open door in the spoon and spins around. "The door. It's open! We're free!"  
  
"We don't know what's out there!"  
  
Qui-Gon ignores him and makes a run for the door but is cut off by a myriad of grotesque and mismatched toys that crawl out from under the bed and other hiding places.  
  
Qui-Gon runs behind Maul. "They're gonna eat us, Maul! Do something, quick!"  
  
Maul grabs his lightsaber from his belt and pushes a button to activiate it but nothing happens.  
  
Maul looks at it, confused. "It's not working. I recharged it before I left."  
  
"You idiot! You're a toy!"  
  
Qui-Gon grabs the useless lightsaber and starts swinging it at the toys. They retreat and the Jedi makes his way to the door, pulling the Sith with him, using him as a shield. Maul is not for having his things touched by other people. "Hey, give that back, Jedi scum!"  
  
Qui-Gon pays him no attention, it's all focused on the group of toys. "Back, get back. Sorry guys but dinner's been cancelled."  
  
Once he's made it to the door, Qui-Gon lets go of Maul, who falls flat on his back, and heads down the stairs. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place li..."  
  
Qui-Gon stops short of running over Sidious' dog...Scud, who is sleeping peacefully on the landing. The Jedi stands there for a moment, all thought and movement temporarily paused. Then he starts easing his way back up the stairs.  
  
Qui-Gon stands at the top, staring down at the dog, wondering how he's going to get out of the house, now. A black-gloved hand shoots out of darkness next to Qui-Gon, clamps down across Qui-Gon mouth and pulls him into the shadows.  
  
Maul is revealed as the owner of the hand still covering Qui-Gon's mouth. Maul leans in close to him. "Another stunt like that, Jedi, and you're going to get us killed," he hisses at him.  
  
Qui-Gon is having none of it, though. He pushes Maul away and pokes his finger at his chest. "Don't tell me what to do, Sith."  
  
Maul glares at Qui-Gon, who obediently shut up. Maul glances down the stairs to be sure that Scud is still sleeping. Then darts across the open space to the railing on the other side of the stairs.  
  
Qui-Gon follows, scurrying across on his hands and knees. Getting up, Qui- Gon's pull-string catches on the ornamently designed railing. The string fails to come loose as he walks away, thus activating one of his recordings.  
  
"Credits *will* do fine!"  
  
Both Maul and Qui-Gon freeze as the recording spits its message out. They, cautiously, peek over the edge of the railing and gasp. Scud has cocked one eye open. The eye narrows as it looks in their general direction and he, suddenly, springs to his feets and bounds up the stairs. Maul and Qui- Gon run like crazy down the hall as they look for *anywhere* to hide.  
  
"Split up," Maul hisses to the Jedi and they each take hug a wall as they run on.  
  
Maul runs through an partially open door just as Qui-Gon runs through another across from him. Qui-Gon pulls the door shut, bringing the dog's attention him first. Maul peeks around the corner of the wall he's hiding behind, as Scud is sniffing at the door, trying to decipher what is on the other side. When he sees that Scud is not able to see him, he darts across the opening to hide behind the door. The sound of tiny feet does catch Scud's attention, though, and, forgetting about Qui, he pads across to the where Maul is hiding.  
  
Maul stills as he sees Scud's nose poke through the door.  
  
"Scud!"  
  
The dog's ears perk up at the sound of a feminine voice. After a glance up to a figure asleep in a chair not far away, Scud back outs and leaves. Maul finally looks around the room. He's in a living room where a middle- aged man is snoring loudly in front of the turned on tv. Just as he is about to venture out to see that the coast is clear, Maul is distracted by "Darth Maul, where are you?"  
  
Maul spins around. "I'm here!"  
  
He looks around wildly for who is addressing him. His gaze falls on the tv as he sees himself doing battle. His jaw drops in shock as he notices that he is being puppeted by hands as if he is a toy. A toy?  
  
"Get your own Darth Maul."  
  
In the next second, there is a close-up of himself and he hears his own voice coming from the tv.  
  
"I am a Sith, bound by my honor to do the bidding of my master at any cost."  
  
A child's finger can be seen pushing the button on the commlink and he hears "Yes, my master."  
  
Maul looks down at his own commlink, pushes the button, the same words tumbling out. His face is completely covered in shock and despair.  
  
"A toy. A toy. I am not a Sith. I am a toy."  
  
He dejectedly slumps down against the door and stares at the floor. 


End file.
